they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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