Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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