Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
