My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
