Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
