i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
