she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
