You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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