I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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