the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize