if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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