3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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