his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
