tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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