He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
