I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So squirting runs in the family.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
