You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
