At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
