Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
