I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
