No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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