I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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