i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You have to summon your inner elephant
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
