dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
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and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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