Hey man sorry I got all grabby
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
