I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
