I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
