I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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