she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
