woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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