I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
