She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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