I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
