I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
