It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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