you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
