I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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