She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
