She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
