It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
