She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He passed out mid-signature
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize