Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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