I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
