Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
