THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
