I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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