I want to have your abortion
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
