I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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