The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
