so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
