we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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