Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think my moral compass just broke
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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