I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
