therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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