due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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