Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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