CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
