hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
