My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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