She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
