Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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