Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
