I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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